Mental health is a prominent issue within the music community, so New Noise Magazine reached out to a diverse group of artists and asked them to speak about their personal experiences with mental illness. This is an exclusive ongoing spotlight – coinciding with Issue #31, The Mental Health Issue, of the print magazine – that showcases a refreshing transparency on the struggles many individuals face and the coping mechanisms they’ve developed to overcome them.
Adam McIntyre of The Pinx
Atlanta-based Southern rock ‘n’ rollers, The Pinx, have been keeping the spirit of ‘60s rock alive for the past decade. The band—now comprised of Adam McIntyre, Chance McColl, Jonathan Lee, and Dwayne Jones—dropped their debut full-length, Look What You Made Me Do, in 2009, following it up with the EP, Southern Tracks, the next year. After a hiatus, The Pinx celebrated their 10-year anniversary with the unveiling of their sophomore full-length, Freedom, in May of 2016. The band plan to spend 2017 focusing on touring, creating new music, and releasing a limited-edition run of Freedom on rainbow-colored vinyl.
Are there any personal experiences with mental health issues you’d like to share?
For a long time, I didn’t know what was wrong with me. More recently, I realized I have annual depressive episodes. I recently had a much longer one and finally started taking an antidepressant. My doctor warned me that one rare side effect might be suicidal thoughts, and if I experienced that, to call 911. A few days ago, that came to pass, and instead of keeping it to myself, I did what I thought was prudent and drove myself back to my doctor. It was the worst I’ve ever felt emotionally, and I wouldn’t wish that darkness or those fantasies on anyone. If you feel that way, you can’t handle it on your own. You simply aren’t designed to. I asked for help and I got it, and I feel much better.
How does your mental health status interact with or inform the way you make music?
As I come out of these depressive episodes, it’s like a valve opens and my head is overflowing with musical ideas. I want to make happy sounds, beautiful sounds, joyous things. I have a harder time writing sad songs, because they’re too morose, maybe tactlessly so when I do them. I have to have a touch of optimism if I write a sad song. Guitar solos are always a way of pouring emotions out for me. The more I do it, the better I feel.
What are some mechanisms you’ve developed and/or discovered that help you cope?
For some reason, I feel a lot of pressure not to be depressed, and I bottle it up long before it starts showing—if ever—before I suddenly cave in and admit that I feel terrible. Now, I disarm that by taking the pressure off, remembering it’s OK and that it will pass, and I matter-of-factly tell my bandmates and those around me that I may seem off but it’s OK—that if I seem mad, it’s not at them, and that I may need to delegate some of the responsibilities I usually have. Taking the pressure off of it and the shame out of talking about it defuses the situation. I go to a therapist, which is a rare luxury for a musician.
Are there ways you think the music world could better accommodate and/or include those living with mental illness?
Don’t romanticize it, and don’t assume it won’t affect things sooner or later. Know beforehand what you can do to support those in your circle that have these problems. Understand it before an emergency happens.
How are your personal experiences impacted by external forces—subculture, dominant culture, political rhetoric, policy shifts, the news media, social media, etc.?
I’m a straight white male; I get that all others are trying to survive in a culture built to cater to me. Generally, if I walk into a place and smile and speak in a calm voice and let people know that I see them, they hop to it. I have stepped away from social media a lot since January. I don’t like seeing how the policies and rhetoric are affecting others in my community.
Ben Collins of Minihorse
Ypsilanti, Michigan, pedal enthusiasts and fuzz fanatics, Minihorse—comprised of vocalist and guitarist Ben Collins, bassist and vocalist Christian Anderson, and drummer and vocalist John Fossum—released their debut EP, Big Lack, in November of 2016 via Friendship Fever. Their first full-length is set to drop in the fall of 2017.
Are there any personal experiences with mental health issues you’d like to share?
When I was 11 years old, I had a panic attack for the first time. I didn’t know what it was, but I was sure I was either dying or going crazy. My chest felt tight, I couldn’t breathe, and my thoughts were racing out of control. The first attack opened a gate for more, and I’ve had them ever since.
What are some mechanisms you’ve developed and/or discovered that help you cope?
I didn’t know it then, but it really helps to tell someone what’s happening. I endured most of my early attacks—and plenty of recent ones— [alone], because I neglected to say anything. But the relief flows in as soon as you articulate the problem, especially if someone is around to talk you through it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Be a detective: find out as much as possible about what’s happening and demystify the whole experience. Panic sucks, but knowing that it’s ultimately harmless makes everything easier.
Are there ways you think the music world could better accommodate and/or include those living with mental illness?
The music world could help by not glorifying mental illness. Depression, anxiety, and other mental disorders are serious issues, not mysterious idiosyncrasies that instill an artist with extra talent. In most cases, artists are creating despite their problems, not because of them. That’s important to understand. If some of them had had access to better help, we’d certainly have more music and more of our heroes would still be around.
As David Lynch said: “Anger and depression and sorrow are […] like a vise grip on creativity. If you’re in that grip, you can hardly get out of bed, much less experience the flow of creativity and ideas.”
