From the sky drop waves of life, splashing your brow and mixing into pools of eternity. You will melt eventually—we all will.
Drowse—the project of Portland, Oregon-based musician and artist Kyle Bates—shimmers in said waves. The band’s airy movements trickle down through you in shivers and flecks, a lo-fi tremor of brain dust.
Cold Air, released March 9 on The Flenser, is the group’s most intimate work yet: a look directly inside the soul of a temporary and feeling lifeform.
“Cold Air is the most vulnerable project I have created because of one key condition,” Bates notes. “A majority of the album is written from the perspective of direct experience rather than a point of reflection.”
“The record is honest in addressing ongoing struggles and unanswered questions: self-medicating with alcohol in order to be open to other people, over-medicating with Klonopin to destroy ruminating death thoughts—‘What does it mean to be bipolar? Why is there so much fear inside of me? Can I lose myself in another person?’”
Bates’ new work is certainly laden with depth, but the honesty and intimacy of it break down the dark tunnels and allow one to experience it in real-time—a remarkable feat considering the chance he took to express his inner self.
“Releasing it into the world fills me with anxiety,” he says. “It is equally scary talking about it here. However, it is personally meaningful to release this record: hiding from fear doesn’t make it disappear, the fear only grows stronger.”
He’s right. And Cold Air has a steely light that is powerful and daring. The record swoons and breaks with experimentalism and free rock; sounds ping and blend with washes of bedroom noise, creating the exact space—physically and mentally—Bates performed in. The artist has been open about his struggles with mental health.
“Big stressful events happened in my life while I made Cold Air,” he explains, “and some of my old mental health symptoms reemerged. I couldn’t sleep and would ruminate on negativity constantly. I stopped taking care of myself. Bottles upon bottles of wine were drunk while writing and recording. Mixes were done late at night under the influence of heavy drugs. I was fucked up physically and emotionally, and music was streaming out of me. It’s a messy record—an outpouring of sonic anxiety.”
The record feels like that trip. It’s a movement in time and a capsule filled with a soul, and there’s much hope in there. Throw it into the sky and watch it fly into the outer universe. The stars, sun, moon and beyond: all life is one, and all life is eternally recreating. Bates opened up with this record, and the results are moving.
“Cold Air is the closest I have come to glimpsing and representing my true self through music,” he closes. “I have yet to work harder on a project in my life. I still love the record; I’ve created something I would want to hear. It fills me with pride and meaning.”
Drowse is an artist in residence in Skagaströnd, Iceland, for the month of April, with a performance and exhibition at NES Studio, April 26 through April 29. More info can be found here.
