The Network – who are definitely not Green Day FYI – have released their new Trans Am EP and announced the greatest album of 2020, their new album, Money Money 2020 Part II: Told Ya So!, will be released December 4 via Warner Records.

Their debut album, Money Money 2020, released in 2003, was a warning to humankind dished out by the otherworldly beings that make up the band – a warning that the vanity, consumerism and need for fame and fortune would destroy the world. And now they’re back to say ‘Told Ya So!’.

Often mistaken for planet’s greatest rock ‘n’ roll band, Green Day, The Network have used their time off from creating music to create the Church of Lushotology and master time travel, moving onto bigger things than stardom, conserving things beyond the human grasp and researching the future foretold in prophecies.

The 4-track Trans Am EP is out now, to whet your appetite for the new album out December 4. 

Listen to the Trans Am EP here and check out the video for “Ivankkka Is A Nazi” below. Follow The Network on Twitter here for more updates, and keep reading for a definitive guide to the band’s unique conglomerate of members.

The Snoo
After the band went separate ways without telling the Snoo, he kept showing up for rehearsals for 7 weeks before taking a job on the Sea Shepard ship bound for South America. He studied ballet and karate, developing a unique wrestling style. His one man Lucha Libre events have entertained dozens though the years in rural Argentina, where he went to track down ex-Nazis while working on a ladybug farm. During the 2016 election, he set himself on fire to show opposition to both candidates, but did not receive a single burn. He has mastered every Kama Sutra technique without a partner. 

Fink
Took a vow of silence for 10 years and moved back to his home village in Switzerland to continue pioneering work on hybrid human biological engineering. Some of his subjects have gone on to star in adult films. Since his long vow of silence concluded, he has come back to America and started the Anti-Ventriloquism League, liberating dozens of helpless dummies from their tormentors. His scientific mind is unparalleled and his compassion for the non-living is insurmountable. 

Z
Z has been quietly working in Tech developing “weapons grade” human data point algorithms for Cambridge Analytica and Facebook. His early work in facial recognition, transparent camera and microphone data collection is unsurpassed. 

Captain Underpants
Has been coaching curling in Newfoundland to Canadian Special Olympic hopefuls. Although he still builds unique synthesizers as a hobby, he doesn’t play the piano. He is a trained opera tenor but refuses to sing in public. His blood type is AB negative and he enjoys Brendan Fraser movies. 

Van Gough
Through his work raising laboratory animals, Van Gough discovered an enzyme present in the ink excreted by giant squids that, when mixed with hydroxychloroquine and electricity, enables him to travel through time and space. It is undisclosed and top secret when and where he has visited, how many historical world events he’s had his hands on, or what his actual age is or should be. He has never been able to find his nose although he has returned to Mount Everest several times in search of it. He is terrified of house cats. He’s trying to quit smoking meth, but it is the only thing that helps his PTSD. 

Balducci 
Balducci has been living in Sardinia where he spends his days growing grapes, making grappa and riding his 1980’s Ducati. His nights are spent taking psychedelics and ballroom dancing. It was difficult to find him to rejoin the Network since he lives completely off the grid.

Images courtesy of Warner Records and The Network (but not Green Day, cos it’s definitely not them).

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Pop-culture journo: currently blabbing-on at Horror Geek Life & New Noise Magazine. Punk rock fangrrrl, horror nerd, lipstick lover & pizza aficionado. Be Excellent to Each Other.

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