Track-By-Track: Nathan Gray – Working Title

I love the story behind this song. It was actually the last one I wrote for the album, and it came to me begging to be written when I had called the album complete. Just a couple of weeks before I went to the studio, I had this nagging feeling that there was a piece of my story missing … a link to tie together my journey from Feral Hymns, through the EP, and into Working Title. “In My Defense” came to me quite intensely and suddenly, and I can’t imagine the album kicking off with anything else.

I think there’s a certain joy and freedom that comes with being comfortable in who you are, “flaws” and all (or at least comfortable in the journey towards owning who you are). I make no attempt to pretend I am not a lot to handle, even to myself, but I’m damn proud to have shed many of the negative behaviors that did me no favors over the years. I hope this song will help others find some of the same peace and know it’s OK to celebrate that.

As an album, Working Title really has been a documentary of sorts for myself and my journey to myself. Self love is hands down the most difficult love to learn, and it’s been a lot of work emotionally, but I have grown so much in the past two to three years. This album is a wonderful sort of documentation of that. “Working Title” owns the state of being a work in progress, which is a wonderful thing to strive for. Progress is forward motion. Having Chuck Ragan join me on this song was such a fun experience, and I’m so glad it has resonated as intended.

I think most of us have been in a situation with a partner/family member/friend where we have felt the mood of this song. The sting of double-standards and toxic mind-games can be difficult to forgive and forget, and I think that being able to turn a mirror on those behaviors is quite empowering and important in healing.

“Refrain” was an intensely difficult song to write and record. It is equal parts joyful and painful, and I remember becoming overwhelmed in the studio as Pete and I quietly set to work on it. On the first run through, my voice gave out a bit as I fought the wave of emotion and nearly started crying. I made the decision to keep that particular part of the song as opposed to re-doing it. “Refrain” was meant to invoke emotion, and I think the vulnerability of that moment was important, and I wanted to share that with everyone.

“Still Here” stands as a wonderful reminder to those of us who have battled our demons that even on our bad days, we win simply by being here. We deserve space, and we are absolutely allowed to celebrate the fact that no matter what the universe throws us, we win every single time we take a breath and a step forward into our fears. 

I am absolutely and joyfully unashamed of the intense, 80s vibe this song brings to the table. It was so much fun to write, and I think its positive vibe is a carefree welcoming of the ebbs and flows of joy and pain. We have to know one to know the other. (Not afraid to admit this one has me clapping along to the beat every single time I hear it.)

There is a very important and necessary part of healing that we often try to deny ourselves: support and community. I wrote this song as a reminder to care for each other and to lean on each other. I am so grateful for the people in my life who have carried me when I couldn’t and grateful for those who have let me return the favor.

“Mercy” is one of those songs that crept up on me in the quiet of late night in a still house. It was recorded nearly exactly as it was written—always meant to be soft and full of emotion, almost a duet between the night and all the feelings that come with it. I invited my dear friend Becky Fontaine (who also lent her talents to a few songs on Feral Hymns) to join me in the studio and provide harmonies for it, and I’m so happy with how it came together. It is a beautiful and honest song, and it holds a special place in my story.

“No Way” is absolutely an anthem of defiance. Of saying no to things that drain our power and cloud our judgement. This was an incredibly fun song to write and record, and I cannot wait to play this one live—it’s one of those songs that begs to be sung along to at the top of your lungs with the windows down on the highway. 

This song is really about making space for ourselves and others to understand that no matter what our minds may tell us in our darkest times of life, we are never alone. Every hurt we carry, ever scary thought … someone out there feels similar pain, faces similar struggles, and is working to battle their demons. Further, someone out there wants to sit with you in those times while you heal yourself. It’s a song encouragement for all of us who have felt outcasted in our lives. When it came to creating the video, I was honored to have my friend (and guitarist!) Jaelyn Robinson to step into the spotlight and represent her own struggle to find a safe place. 

Somewhere, there is a ridiculous video of me in the studio sitting at the piano, hitting the same keys over and over again during this song. This is another song that intentionally brings a very upbeat atmosphere to a mood that could’ve been anything but. Almost a facetious tip of the hat. A lot of this album has been about reclaiming power over people, places, and experience that did their best to tear me down. 

As necessary as “In My Defense” was to start the album, “Down” was equally as important in closing it. It represents closing a chapter, battle-weary but victorious. Fans of Nathan Gray Collective will recognize a nod to one of those hymns, a statement of rebirth and empowerment.